SnowSpondys are, in most ways, quite similar to the Snow-Men
and Snow-Women that you see every winter, bringing joy to a
lonely town square or merriment to a neighbor's front yard.
SnowSpondys, however, have some distinct biological
differences deep down on the snowflake level, which makes
their bodys stiffen up and sometimes even freeze.
Most SnowSpondys have inherited a genetic marker known as
HLA-B27, which has been shown to trigger tundra-like
symptoms in SnowPeople, and is responsible for most cases of
early onset Perma-Frost (Frostylitis)
Naturally, this impedes a SnowSpondy's mobility somewhat and makes
bending over to pick up a dropped mitten, nearly impossible. (That is one
reason why you rarely see Snowspondys wearing mittens. Another reason
being an irrational fear of wool. But never mind that.) However what
may seem like a disadvantage at first, actually makes SnowSpondys
much more resilient to the horrifying effects of something SnowPeople
have come to call "Spring Thaw" a.k.a. "The Big Melt".
A Snowspondy's "Frostylitis" allows them to resist melting far longer than
ordinary Snowpeople. In fact, there are rumors of year-around SnowSpondy
communities as far South as Minneapolis. This dense inner core of tundra-like
perma-frost, also accounts for a SnowSpondy's somewhat stooped posture and
slightly awkward gait.
Stiffy the SnowSpondy Biography
Stiffy the SnowSpondy is, (by SnowSpondy standards), a very young
Snowperson. His early years are somewhat unclear, (and Stiffy
adamantly refuses to talk about them), but intense independant
genealogical research has traced his beginnings to a Cold Front which
formed over Canada around 1860.
Stiffy and his twin brother, Spiffy, were separated at birth and only
recently found each other, through their frequent participation in the
Spondyville internet chat room. Stiffy has been the official mascot of
Spondyville for many years now. In fact, he has been spending his
winters in Spondyville since the early 1870's, when the town was first
founded by Elias Fusealot and Uriah Stoop.
Stiffy's life-long committment to bringing laughter and joy to all the
residents of Spondyville, has earned him a number of community service
awards, such as the Frigidaire "Frozen Neighbor" award and, of course,
the coveted "Silver Icicle" award from the Ladies Auxiliary of the
Spondyville Junior Chamber of Commerce. He was also nominated for A
Golden Globe for Best Actor in an animated feature back in the 1960's,
but, in a controversial decision, lost to an inebriated Rudolph the reindeer.
These days, Stiffy continues to bring joy and laughter to the residents
of Spondyville. His annual return to Spondyville in late November, is
always a major event. On the week before Thanksgiving every year,
Stiffy leaves his Summer bungalow in very Northern Canada (on the
outskirts of the very remote Tundra-ville), and proceeds, first by dog-
sled and then by bus, to make his way back to Spondyville. Stiffy's
arrival triggers a celebration known as SpondyFest, which includes the
now famous Spondyville Bend-a-thon, ("Touch your toes for those who
can't"), which raises money for AS research. Stiffy looks forward to
meeting new Spondys and continuing to entertain and amuse
Spondyvilleans of all ages. He is truly a SnowSpondy for the ages.
In 2000, Stiffy saved the town, as chronicled elsewhere on this website. (See the story, "Stiffy2K" in the Story section of Downtown Spondyville.)
as part of a daring and unique attempt to raise awareness of AS.
In 2004, He began his incredible "Run Across the World", visiting exotic locales
all around the globe. This experience provided him with the International experience
and diplomatic credentials which prepared him for his next big adventure ...
His 2008 campaign for President of the United States.
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Read about Stiffy the Snowspondy's
2008 Presidential campaign by clicking HERE
