Stiffy2K
a collaborative story
(Continued)
Chapter Nine –  A Payneful Discovery

As Stiffy and Fuser followed him down the hallway, Old Man Wiggley slipped his cape back on, and then briefly paused to once again cover his head with the sinister black helmet. (Carefully tucking his long floppy ears in just the right way took a good deal of concentration.) Fuser, who was more used to waddling and swimming than running, was already quite out of breath. But he kept going because he was very scared of being left behind. Stiffy, was also having some trouble keeping up with the speedy rabbit, and he took full advantage of Old Man Wiggley’s stopping to transform back into his Darth Spondy persona, to try to catch his breath. When Fuser caught up, Stiffy gallantly took off his slightly crushed top hat, and somehow managed to bend far enough down to scoop up Fuser and empty him onto his shoulder. “Hang onto my scarf, ‘Lil buddy”, whispered Stiffy. Fuser was too winded and scared to object.

Meanwhile, with a final tap of his helmet, the transformation was complete. Old Man Wiggley was once again, Darth Spondy.

Continuing on, they rounded a corner, and wouldn’t you know it, they ran right into a couple of Dr. Lowerbackus’ henchmen, guarding a huge metal door. “Halt! Who goes there?”, they shouted.

“It’s me”, boomed Wiggley, fully immersed in his role.

“These two are my prisoners. I am taking them to their cells to torture them.”

Fuser gulped hard and was about to become hysterical over the thought of being tortured when he remembered that Darth Spondy was really Old Man Wiggley. He tried hard not to chuckle. The guards did not seem to notice.

”Oh, we’re very sorry, your lordship. Go right ahead.”

“Carry on” commanded Darth, with a wink to Stiffy and Fuser.

Wiggley and Stiffy moved past the guards while Fuser clung tightly to Stiffy’s scarf and silently enjoyed the ride.

After a few more turns and a couple more dark, dank hallways, they came to another unmarked door.

“You guys stay here, I have to attend to a few things before we can get out of here.”

“No, no, let me come with you,” protested Stiffy.  “Together we can over-power Doctor Lowerbackus and put an end to this madness.”

“My friend”, Wiggley explained, “there are more things happening here than you know. Trust me. I will be back.”

With that, Wiggley, gently, but with a definite degree of determination, pushed Stiffy and Fuser into the room and locked the door. They were safe … or … They were trapped!

Stiffy, his mind boggling at all that had happened  recently, couldn’t decide whether Old Man Wiggley could be trusted.  He immediately began to look for a way out. If they could escape, they might be better off trying to stop the mad Doctor on their own.

“With a great deal of effort, Stiffy managed to tilt his body backward enough to notice an air vent near the ceiling. (Yes, it’s the old cliché air vent escape route. What did you expect at this point? Originality?)

“Fuser, that vent is too small for me to get through, do you think you can manage?”

“You wanth me to cwall thwough there?” Whaf de weason”

Stiffy, in standard literary shorthand, explained what Fuser needed to do to help them escape.  Fortunately, Fuser had seen Toy Story 2, Star Wars and a host of other movies, so he understood completely.

Standing on the very tippy top of Stiffy’s top hat. He managed to hop up and down until he managed to grab one of the bars of the vent and pull himself up and through the narrow opening. (And that’s not easy to do without opposable thumbs. But never mind that)

Fuser, was small enough that he could walk standing up through the ventilation ducts. (In other words, the duck in the duct didn’t have to duck.) He made a number of wrong turns in his attempt to find the way out, and soon realized that he was hopelessly lost. He had eaten all the bread crumbs left over from Stiffy’s peanut butter sandwich, so he couldn’t even find his way back to where Stiffy was waiting for him. 

He was about to cry, when he heard strange voices coming from one of the shafts. He pulled himself together, and went off to discover the source of the strange voices.

Meanwhile, Stiffy was getting increasingly nervous. Time was a’wastin’, so he decided to try to jimmy the lock on the door.

Unfortunately, his knapsack was filled with nothing more than his flashlight, some peanut butter sandwich wrappers, some bottled water and a box of apple juice.  As Stiffy looked around the room, he noticed that there seemed to be a very slight breeze coming from behind the bookcase!  And dear readers, you all know what that means! He felt around, and soon discovered a secret lever. He gave it a pull, and the bookcase began to move. It was a secret passageway!
He tried to call out to Fuser, but he did not answer. The bookcase began to close. Stiffy had to make a split second decision. Should he stay here and wait for his little pal, hoping that they would be able to find their way to safety together, or should he take advantage of this lucky and totally unexpected discovery and come back later to get Fuser. He decided to take the secret passageway. He knew that Fuser would forgive him, especially if the secret passageway lead him to a place where he could confront Dr. Lowerbackus and put an end to the madness that was afflicting Spondyville and its residents. Stiffy correctly surmised that Spondyville was only the first step in the Doctor’s evil plans for world domination. This thought continued to bounce around Stiffy’s brain, as he carefully moved along the secret passageway.  He took out his trusty flashlight and shined it on the dark stone walls of the secret corridor. The place definitely ranked high on the creepy-ness scale. The corridor eventually led to a wooden door with no handle. Stiffy listened closely, but heard nothing. He tried pushing the door. Slowly the wooden door creaked open.  The beam of Stiffy’s flashlight revealed a small, well-furnished room with a recliner and a large bed.  In the far corner of the room appeared to be a hip replacement chair with a large, bulky blanket thrown over it.  Stiffy found a light switch and the room was immediately bathed in light, which is when Stiffy realized that there was a person sitting in the hip replacement chair underneath that bulky blanket.

Stiffy cautiously walked over to the chair. Muffled cries for help emanated from under the blanket.  This had been a day for surprises, all right, but even knowing that, Stiffy was not prepared for the surprise he got when he removed the blanket.

There, sitting, tied to the chair, under the blanket was none other than the LATE Marie Strumpell, the former queen of Spondyville society!

Stiffy removed the Gaffer’s tape which had been placed on her mouth, and undid the ties that bound her to the chair.

“MISS STRUMPELL!!?? But, But … You’re…DEAD!!

Hello, Mr, Snowspondy. (Marie Strumpell and Stiffy had known each other for a very long time. Because of her Victorian upbringing, she always called him Mr. Snowspondy, and she insisted he call her Miss Strumpell.)

“Are you … a … a… Ghost?” Stiffy could always be counted on to ask the most obvious question.

“No sir, I am alive.”

“But I … went to your funeral.” Stiffy vividly recalled the event.  After all, it was not every day the richest (and most generous) woman in town passed away. Marie Strumpell was a direct descendant of one of the founders of Spondyville, Uriah Stoop. She was known for her elaborate dinner parties and her many philanthropic activities.
Not only that, she single-handedly changed the Spondyville skyline when she built what came to be known as the Marie Strumpell building, Spondyville’s only skyscraper. Of course, it was not officially named that until after her death… Wait a minute…where were we? Oh yes. Stiffy was questioning Miss Strumpell on her apparent alive-ness.

“I don’t understand. I went to your wake. I viewed you in your casket at the funeral home.”

“Obviously, that wasn’t me. I was kidnapped by Dr. Lowerbackus and have been held prisoner here for almost ten years. I suspect the “Doctor and his evil minions switched my body with someone else’s … ”

“It looked an awful lot like you..” protested Stiffy.

“Oh gosh, Mr, Snowspondy, you don’t suppose the Doctor could have murdered my sister, Shirley do you?

“Oh, I don’t know, I think he  … Wait a minute. You had a sister?”

“Yes, Shirley Strumpell. She was the black sheep of the family. She lived a couple miles away over in Struedeltown, played the cornet in a Dixieland Jazz band and moonlighted as a prostitute.”

“You mean?”

“Yes”, Marie sighed, “She was known as ‘Struedeltown Strumpell the Trumpet Strumpet.’” 

“She was the Struedeltown Strumpet?! Shirley?! That can’t be true.”

But surely it was.

“Yes, nodded Miss Strumpell sadly, with Shirley, when the Saints went marching in, so did everyone else.”

For the first time, Stiffy had no idea what she was talking about.

He pressed on. “But if that is true, why did Doctor Lowerbackus do it? What did he hope to gain?  Was it all part of his plan to control the world?”

“Oh my, is he going on about that, again?”

Stiffy, once again, quickly recounted all the information previously revealed in Chapters One through Eight.

“Oh my”, was all Miss Strumpell could manage to utter.

After a long and dramatic pause, she continued, “I’m afraid this is partly my fault. You see …” She motioned for Stiffy to sit down, as this was going to be a long stretch of exposition.
Stiffy was happy to get off his feet.

“Many years ago, Willie and I …”

“Willie?”

“Yes, that is the doctor’s real name. Wilhelm Von Bechterew. He and I were classmates at one time, and friends. He was the illegitimate grandson of the other founder of Spondyville, Elias Fuselot. Poor Willie had a crush on me, I’m afraid, although I did nothing to encourage him. At the time, I was being courted by dear Hank …”

“Hank? You mean “Pops” DeMauppasant, the town janitor and handyman?!”

“Yes, back then he was a successful lawyer and town councilman. Poor Willie was very jealous of Hank and vowed to ruin him. Which he nearly did.  But that is a story for another time.”

Stiffy nodded, and urged her to continue with the more pertinent story.

“Hank was instrumental in getting me appointed Spondyville’s first woman Postmaster.  Willie was so jealous, he oould barely contain himself. That is when he began his lifetime obsession with stamp collecting.  To this day there is only one First Day cover stamp that he does not own. The Spondyville Cenntenial Founders’ Day stamp which I issued in 1975.”  
Stiffy was overwhelmed by the revelations ... “B-But”, he stuttered,  “How does that tie in to his plan to rule the world?”

“Well, after kidnapping me and forcing me to live here in his underground lair, Willie hoped that I would eventually develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with my captor. But as delicately handsome as I find him, he is simply not my type.”

“Wew, thwank goodneth for dat”.  Stiffy and Miss Strumpell were surprised by a voice coming from the air shaft. It was ‘Lil Fuser!  He hopped down from the overhead vent. “Don’t wook naow, but I think da Docta hath anotha secwet”.

“Another secret? What is that?”

“I ovaherd him tawking to his powar bwars. He is a …”
Oh whad da ya caw it? Wet me Pud it dis whay … He wikes fur.”

“Oh,you mean, his membership to PETA has lapsed?”

“NO, siwwy!” Fuser tried to explain the best way he could. “He’s a …. Fuser’s voice lowered to a whisper, “Well, he’s not a fewwa.”


“Dr. Payneful Lowerbackus is a WOMAN?!!”

Stiffy and Miss Strumpell were stunned.

Stiffy managed to clear his throat. “Are you sure, Fuser?”

“I’m afwaid so. I peeked thwough de vent when he went to change hith cwothes. He a wady aw-wight.”

Marie Strumpell thought hard for a moment. Finally she spoke. “Well that would make sense.  I mean it would explain a number of his…errr … her actions over the years. He … err, she always railed about the fact that Spondylitis was considered a Man’s disease.  He always claimed that women were getting AS in almost equal numbers as men. But no-one at the time, took him seriously.  Poor Wilhelm ... errr ... Wilhelmina.”

“Perhaps”, Stiffy reasoned, “that’s what drove the Doctor mad … That and his ... HER insane unrequited love for you, Miss Strumpell.”

“You could be right, Mr. Snowspondy.”

“Unfortunately", Stiffy lamented, "We may be too late to stop her from implementing her evil plans.”

“Perhaps”, Miss Strumpell declared, “Or perhaps not.”

Stiffy looked perplexed and puzzled at the same time.

“Mr, Snowspondy, on your way to find me, did you pass a big metal door guarded by a couple of the doctor’s henchmen?”

Stiffy recalled doing that earlier in this very Chapter. (Go ahead. Check. I'll wait ... OK? Good.) “Why yes, Ma’am.”

“Do you think you can find your way back there?”

“Yes, but what good will that do? We can’t turn back time.”

“Don’t be so sure, Mr. Snowspondy.  Don’t be so sure.”

With that, Marie Strumpell, Stiffy and Fuser headed back up the secret passageway to find that heavily guarded door.

Stiffy did not know it, but behind that door lay still more secrets waiting to be revealed.
Chapter Ten – The Past is just the Future before it happens.

After Marie Strumpell, Stiffy and Fuser had slowly made their way back through the secret passageway, they re-entered the room with the unmarked door.  Miss Strumpell quickly and expertly jimmied the lock on the door and they were soon sneaking down the dank hallway and approaching the guarded metal door.  They could hear the raucous voices of Dr. Von Bechterew’s guards laughing while they ignorantly speculated on the demise of Darth Spondy’s prisoners. 

Fortunately for our brave trio, Miss Strumpell had a few tricks up her delicately-laced sleeves.  Not the least of which were the NSAIDs she had been squirreling away from those given to her over the years by Dr. Von Bechterew in the doctor's ill-conceived, ill-advised, ill-fated (and frequently ill-inducing) attempt to woo her.  She promptly took two pills in preparation for what only she knew was about to happen.

When it came time to round the last corner before confronting the goons guarding the huge metal door, Miss Strumpell quietly told Stiffy and Fuser to let her take the lead.  The two compatriots gave each other puzzled looks, but agreed to do as she said.  After all, Marie Strumpell was an intelligent, well-respected, doyenne of Spondyville society.  Besides, she was older, (in human years anyway), than both of them and they had been raised to respect their elders.  Stiffy and Fuser obediently stepped behind Miss Strumpell.

Upon seeing what, at first, appeared to be a bulky shadow coming toward them, (Miss Strumpell had ingeniously thrown that dark blanket back over her head), the surprised guards drew their weapons and shouted, "Halt, who goes there?"   (Oh come on, you knew that was coming.)  Imagine their surprise when they realized the shadowy figure was none other than Dr. Von Bechterew’s “personal” prisoner, Marie Strumpell with a blanket over her head. Tossing the blanket aside, Miss Strumpell then did something remarkable ... and totally unexpected.  While motioning Stiffy and Fuser to stay back, (to make sure they wouldn't get injured), she swung into action. She pulled a pair of nun-chucks from her sleeve, (Hmm … makes you wonder what else she has up there...), and started to attack Von Bechterew’s goons; martial arts style.  In a suddenly slow-motion scene worthy of the Matrix (and it has to be very slow-motion for a resident of Spondyville), she hiked up her long petticoat, jumped into the air and proceeded to pummel the guards with an almost unbelievable amount of bicycle kicks.  (Those NSAIDS sure came in handy!) (For readers wishing to get the full visual special effect, pick up your monitors and continue reading while slowly turning around in a circle.)

Wait a minute, that scene’s not from The Matrix, that’s from Mortal Kombat, (or maybe Hidden Dragon, Crouching Spondy.)
 
Ohhh, of course … having been held captive for the last 10 years, Miss Strumpell has not SEEN the movie The Matrix. She had, however, enjoyed a showing of Mortal Kombat on one of her last dates with Hank DeMauppasant, (who used to dream of being able to take martial arts classes along with his beloved Marie, if it weren’t for his debilitating AS and his irrational fear of Jackie Chan.) But, I digress. 

The goons fell to the ground like bricks tossed from the Tower of Pisa, and Miss Strumpell proceeded to fling her nun-chucks at them, wrapping them around the goons' wrists like handcuffs, while also knocking them totally unconscious.  She deftly retrieved the necessary key to the metal door from the KO'd guard's key ring.

After gracefully stepping over the prone bodies, Miss Strumpell opened the huge metal door and our trio entered a rather dreary laboratory with one flickering fluorescent overhead light fixture. 

"Well, I'll be a Spondy’s uncle", said Stiffy. "Look at that weird contraption. What do you suppose it is?"

In front of them was a large shiny steel machine, with huge plastic knobs and buttons. (Hey, even a Mad Scientist has to cut corners sometimes.)

In the middle of the odd machine, there was a dome-shaped seating area that appeared capable of holding, (and what are the odds of this), exactly one Snowspondy.

"That, my dears, is Dr. Von Bechterew’s version of the Way-Back Machine", answered Miss Strumpell. (Dr. Von Bechterew was a huge fan of Mr. Peabody and Sherman who, of course, patented the ORIGINAL Way-Back Machine, way back in the Sixties.)   "I overheard him many times talking about using it to go back in time in order to outbid people on Spond-E-bay. It was part of his master plan to gain control of the world's financial institutions and drive them to ruin."

"Phewwww, said Fuser, Dis chawacter ith not a vewwy nith pewson (As always, Fuser was the master of understatement, but he s awfully cute, so we’ll forgive him, won’t we?)

"Miss Strumpell, we must do something to stop your frustrated paramour-wanna-be", exclaimed Stiffy. "If we can figure out these controls, maybe I can return to 1989 and foil the Doctor’s plot to kidnap you, while also throwing a wrench into his … errr, HER plans for world domination."

They all agreed that was a heckuva good idea. (What? You got a better idea for the plot?)  Marie Strumpell had known about the WayBack Machine for quite a few years and had once, actually seen Dr. Von Bechterew operate it. So, she set about pushing knobs and buttons, trying to remember how to get the darn thing operational.

Stiffy slowly and painfully stepped inside the domed compartment meant for time-traveling passengers.  He was very glad it would be a short trip, since his back and hips were hurting terribly, having not had his meds for more than 24 hours.  (Miss Strumpell had offered him some of her stash, but Stiffy wisely preferred not to mix his prescription meds.)

Finally, the WayBack machine started to make a humming noise. The lights on the control panel started to blink and the monitor registered “December 31, 1989”. 

Marie Strumpell gave Stiffy the thumbs up (well, ONE thumb up anyway, her other thumb was too stiff from all that nunchuck work.) and then pushed the button to transport Stiffy back in time.

Within moments, Stiffy was transported back to Ankylosinger Square in Spondyville in the year 1989. Just to make sure of the date, Stiffy checked a newspaper someone had left on the park bench. Sure enough, it said December 31, 1989. (Yeah, I know, someone in the park could have been throwing away a ten year old newspaper, but what are the odds of that?)  Miss Strumpell had also managed to set the Wayback Machine for the approximate time of her abduction.

After the whirlwind ride in the WayBack Machine,  Stiffy was a little dizzy.  Of course, being a Snowspondy he was used to the weird feelings that sometimes overtook his body. Stiffy had learned long ago to always listen to his body. So, he decided that he needed to sit quietly on the park bench for a few moments and regain his balance before continuing on his quest.

Meanwhile, back in the Spondyville of the future, the new millennium was fast approaching, and Stiffy's twin brother, Spiffy the Snowspondy was growing concerned that he had not seen or heard from his brother Stiffy for several hours.  He was afraid that Stiffy would miss the dropping of the Golden Anti-Inflammatory Pill at midnight from high atop Spondyville's only skyscraper.

The pleasing after-effects of dinner had now worn off, and poor Spiffy was in a lot of pain and could barely move from the bench he had been sitting on while keeping an eye on the preparations for the evening’s festivities. (Coincidentally, it is the exact same bench that Stiffy is resting on right now, ten years ago.  While the cleverer readers among you figure out the ramifications to the space-time continuum of Stiffy and Spiffy simultaneously sitting on the exact same park bench, exactly ten years apart, let's continue with our story.) 

Never let it be said, dear readers, that pain, no matter how great, ever kept a resident of Spondyville from doing what needed to be done.

That being said, it slowly dawned on Spiffy that he was sitting in front of the main offices of both CompuSpondy and Spondyville Online, which, of course, are the two biggest ISPs in Spondyville.  He recalled the chilling words spoken by the malevolent stranger with the sing-song voice, about how the internet had been taken over by this apparently evil Dr. Lowerbackus person (Spiffy, of course, didn’t t know the Doctor's true identity, or true intentions, for that matter.)  Spiffy wondered what was in store for Spondyville now that the evil Doctor's minions had cut off everyone's supply of NSAIDs and had effectively sealed the borders so that no-one could enter or leave town.  And what did that have to do with the odd goings on at the Post Office?  Spiffy was really miffed at that.  How would he ever get his 1959 Topps trading Card of Gene Freeze, (Spiffy's favorite baseball player.) Spiffy had bought the card on Spond-E-bay and dutifully sent his money order in, but he was still waiting to receive his vintage mint condition baseball card.

Spiffy got up and slowly hobbled to the small storefront shared by CompuSpondy and Spondyville Online.   (Both companies were still struggling start-ups when they rented the space back in 1985, and they had agreed to share the old, abandoned hardware store in order to save money.)  Spiffy thought for a moment, and decided that what he needed was a diversion, which would distract the sing-song-y voiced computer geeks and nerds, (more of the doctor’s spondy-bots, I’m afraid.), and enable him to gain access to both ISPs' main computers. Perhaps he could figure out how they were controlling access to the internet, and learn a way to once again sign on to Spond-E-Bay and find out exactly what happened to his Gene Freeze baseball card. (Not that he was obsessed about that. He was merely an avid collector.)

(Fortunately, Spiffy had taken several correspondence courses in computer programming recently.)

Spiffy tossed a few large rocks into the alleyway behind the office building. (Oh come on, it works in the movies all the time.)  The computer geeks on duty went out the back door to see what all the commotion was about.

While they were gone, (and as quickly as he could), Spiffy sat down at the main computer bank and proceeded to search through the master databases of both organizations.  Or at least he tried to access the databases. The first thing he encountered was a screen asking for his password.  The screen name said "Wabbit".  Spiffy thought for a moment, and then typed in "Wascally".  "Password Invalid" flashed on the screen.  He kept trying potential passwords, but each time, "PASSWORD INVALID"  would appear on the monitor.  He knew he had to hurry, as even computer geeks would soon realize that the rocks were merely a diversion, and that meant they could return to work at any moment.

Meanwhile, back in 1989,  Stiffy had recovered his equilibrium.

He slowly looked around, noticing the subtle ways the town had changed over the last ten years. 

Over on the far side of Main Street was the Spondyville Roaster, the best restaurant in town. (Well, actually it was the only restaurant in town, other than the Spondy Café, and that was only open for breakfast.)

A little further down the street was old Doc Crickeneck’s office. Stiffy fondly remembered Doc’s retirement party several years earlier (err ... later).  On the other side of Main Street was the new Compuspondy / Spondyville Online offices.  Stiffy smiled as he recalled the reaction of the town council when the president of Compuspondy, Mauricio Microchip, first explained how his company was going to bring Spondyville “into the future" by connecting  everyone to some new-fangled thing called "the internet".  The council men and women just shook their heads and dismissed Mr. Microchip as being a little touched in the head.  World Wide Web, indeed. What folly.

Stiffy wished he could sit there forever and reminisce, but he had a mission to accomplish.  So, he got up and headed over to Miss Strumpell’s house.
Just before he had left, Miss Strumpell had told him that Dr. Von Bechterew had snatched her from her bed in the middle of this very night at precisely 11:46 PM.  The clock tower on top of Spondyville’s Town Hall, read: 11:37.  Stiffy had just enough time to get to Miss Strumpell’s house.  Our brave Snowspondy just hoped he had arrived before the evil doctor and her henchmen. 

Back at the turn of the Millennium, we find Spiffy once again sitting on that park bench, smiling a very odd smile.  Unfortunately, he had not been able to break into either ISP’s database, and yet … for some strange  reason, he began to quietly chuckle.  He seemed to be bursting with some kind of good news.  One imagines he could hardly wait to share his mysterious secret with his twin brother. If only Stiffy would get back to Spondyville. But where was he? 

Oh, if Spiffy only knew …

Exactly ten years earlier, Stiffy was surprised to discover that he suddenly felt a lot better.  It seems he had not only gone back in time ten years, but his pain-wracked body had regressed ten years as well. He was not in anywhere near as much pain or suffering or stiffness as he had been in the future. This delighted him so much, he was able to practically run to Miss Strumpell’s home. (Well, what seemed like running to him.)

A very short time later, he arrived at Miss Strumpell's front porch. As he stood there gathering his thoughts, he remembered what she had said about the WayBack Machine. Stiffy only had two hours to save her and return to Ankylosinger Square in order to be transported back to the eve of the year 2000.

Just then, he heard muffled male voices coming from around the side of the house.  He took refuge behind the witch hazel shrubs which surrounded the house.  His plan was to wait until they went inside, and then surprise the thugs with a whack over the head courtesy of his trusty cane. 

Dr. Von Bechterew’s henchmen carefully walked up the steps and opened the front door.  (Stiffy was going to have to have a word with Miss Strumpell about her leaving her door unlocked.) After they entered the house, Stiffy quietly followed them at a safe distance.  As they were standing in her bedroom doorway, Stiffy snuck up behind them to give them a good whack with his cane.  They dropped like bricks ... again.  (Well, actually, being ten years earlier, this is the first time they dropped like bricks and the other time is the second time ... but never mind that.)

Unfortunately …

Dr. Wilhemina Von Bechterew had decided to follow her evil underlings to make sure that her plans went as she intended. 

Stiffy didn’t stand a chance against this wicked woman pretending to be a man, in the guise of an evil mad scientist out to rule the world and win the unrequited heart of the woman who spurned her. (Whew!)

The doctor, wielding a decidedly masculine purse, knocked Stiffy’s cane from his grasp, causing him to fall and bump his head on a nearby statue of Marie Strumpell’s late father, Colonel LeGrand Strumpell. 
Everything got blurry and then, for our hero, the lights went out.

He awoke in a hazy kind of fog. Slowly it all came back to him.  Stiffy rubbed his sore head and massaged his left leg, which was hit when the doctor knocked the cane from his grasp.  Stiffy was hurting from top to bottom … and then, suddenly, he remembered he had to get back to Ankylosinger Square in time to go back to the future!

He glanced at his watch.  OH NO!! 2:32AM!!  It was too late!!  He had not only failed to stop the evil Doctor from kidnapping Marie Strumpell, but he had not made it back to Ankylosinger Square in time, and now that it was past midnight, he was STUCK in 1990!!  

What did this mean for the future?  Does this mean Dr. Von Bechterew has succeeded in her plans to rule the world, corner the stamp market AND win Miss Strumpell’s affections?

Can Stiffy EVER get back to where he started?  Will Spiffy ever stop that mysterious chuckling? And will the Cleveland Indians EVER win another World Series???  (The answer to everything but the last question will be answered in the upcoming and FINAL chapter of Stiffy2K.)

(To be continued ...)
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE EXCITING, PULSE-POUNDING  CONCLUSION TO OUR STORY!!

(CLICK HERE)




If you would like to try YOUR hand at writing a chapter of a NEW Stiffy the Snowspondy adventure story, please send an email to: Spenser23@aol.com


To go back to the First and Second Chapters of Stiffy2K, Click Here.

To go back to the Third through Eighth Chapters of
Stiffy2K, Click Here.
Thanks to Spenser, Margaret, Yvette, Laura, Tyler, Pete and Crystal for their contributions to this story.
To Go Back to Spondyville Downtown, Click Here.